The Real Tragedy of the Pike River Mine Collapse

Many of our north American and European readers probably wouldn't have had much exposure to the relatively recent Pike River tragedy, where several explosions rocked a coal mine, north of Grey Mouth, and sealed the fates of the 29 unlucky miners trapped within.

But the real tragedy is not the loss of peoples' lives, no. The real tragedy is not that 29 families are now without a breadwinner, definitely not. The real tragedy is the disgusting lack of diversity in the victims.

Something is Wrong Here...

How dare these white, colonialist descended (probably racists, lets face it) men monopolise the death lists!

What is worse is the disturbing lack of exposure to this very fact by so-called "Equal opportunists". Shouldn't famous Maori advocates, like Hone Harawiri, be filing grandiose lawsuits to right this obviously racially motivated display of workplace favouritism? Shouldn't Sikhs and Hindus be rattling the halls of parliament with their demands of proportionate fatality representation in the so-called multi-"cultural" New Zealand? And most of all, shouldn't feminists be marching in the streets, screeching like harpies from Hell to have a 50% death rate for women in the workplace?

To commemorate this horrible miscarriage of justice, diversity, and affirmative action, I will be setting up a charity organisation to right this wrong.  The organisation will be called Proportionate Representation in Accidents Taskforce, or P.R.A.T for short.We will be accepting donations of new born baby girls or non-white males via freight (we will provide waterproof mail bags if required) until we have hit our national targets.